She Looks like A Man ..Bitch Where???

I’ll Just Leave This Right Here……







One of my favorite quotes by feminist and author  Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche  :

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. 

beyonce flawless feminist

There is a lot to be said about how young girls have been conditioned, and there is much work to be done to make sure we are awakened in order to  ensure we serve the young women that come after us. When  women like Hillary Rodham Clinton, and others like her dare to have ambition and become a man’s competition, the hostility shown to her makes you cringe. We’ve come a long way from the brick wall, but we need to make certain that what we teach girls as well as boys will ensure that they thrive irregardless of gender.


No Filter

What is a beauty ideal anyway? When I walk past women and men on the street, not one person looks exactly the same. However, I have been in a room full of blonde, skinny, large breasted white women, or curvy black women with long extensions and contoured faces for the illusion of higher cheek bones. While their is nothing wrong with looking glamorous, sexy and beautiful, society has reached a point where everyone goes for the exact same concept when we get dressed and apply makeup. We have become a society that wants to fit the white beauty ideals, instead of our authentic selves.

The mainstream beauty ideal is almost exclusively white, making it all the more unattainable for women of color. Though beautiful women of color like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Queen Latifah, Rihanna, Jennifer Hudson, Halle Berry and others have achieved renown in U.S. culture, media representations of these women have become increasingly “anglicized” or “whitewashed” over time, with lighter-colored, straighter hair, lighter makeup, colored contacts and often shrinking figures .Though many of these transformations are likely decided by the celebrities themselves or their styling teams, some of the transformations are much more sinister … and more digital.


Reality TV

Reality TV, where do I start. From The Bachelor, to Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives and the Real Housewives, we cant escape the shallow existence that is reality TV.  We no longer have heroes, or idols. Television is saturated with insecure, promiscuous men and women fighting, crying, cheating on one another, anything for attention and money. The  lifestyles being  portrayed are false, they spend a large amount of time pretending to have perfect lives….filled with drama, because others are extremely jealous of how perfect their life is. Huh?

Shows like The Real World were the beginning of reality TV. Suddenly people with ordinary lives were no longer interesting, it became more about idolizing the rich and famous, it girls, and the train wreck that ensued. The networks saw huge profits with the millions of people becoming addicted to the cheap thrills of watching other people do scandalous things just for ratings.

What amazes me is that reality TV viewers are getting younger and younger. My eight year old son couldn’t stop saying “ you are not the father!” after accidentally seeing part of a segment of the Maury Show. We must keep in mind that we as parents have a responsibility to be more vigilant in using parental controls, some of these shows “send the wrong messages to young people trying to understand their place in the world” and we should be concerned enough to make sure they get a healthy dose of programming that doesn’t spotlight a world rife with sexual situations, focused obsessively on physical attractiveness and dominated by competition, scheming, humiliation and voyeurism — clearly not the core values most adults would like to impart to the next generation.”


Images Taken From:


Becoming Rihanna

Rihanna has become one of the most powerful female presence in the music industry. A seemingly shy, young girl , who’s become  a confident, sexy , woman. She isn’t afraid to smoke weed, topless, on a yacht while vacationing , fully aware of the lens of the paparazzi. What sets her apart from artists like Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus is she isn’t throwing sex in your face. Rihanna exudes sex, but not overt and tasteless , she does it in  a way that normalizes the female body. “When Rihanna’s naked she isn’t posing in a hypersexual way, she’s covered in blood and she’ll cut your dick off. She looks powerful, but it’s almost casual, normalised. It’s about showing a powerful representation of the female body, where women are in charge of the way that they’re being viewed” She is unfiltered and unapologetic, doing what she wants when she wants to and living a life that she is in full control of.

Women should never have to apologize for being sexy. Our sexuality is a gift, and when it is portrayed responsibly and in ways that empower instead of cheapens us, this gift should be shared; not play down our sexuality, personality or hiding behind demure facades as to not offend and threaten. We can be smart , sexy, badass and own that.

Images taken from:

FADER magazine “Becoming Rihanna In a world of phonies, Rihanna is the realest. How she manages this, we may never know”.